TED talks summary - "The Power of Vulnerability"



  1. Conventional research wisdom
    1. “If you can’t measure it, it doesn’t exist”
    2. “Lean into the discomfort”
  2. Connection = purpose & meaning
    1. people tend to focus on negative experiences
  3. Shame & fear => fear of disconnection
    1. I’m not smart/beautiful/etc. enough
  4. Excruciating vulnerability - 2 groupings
    1. Those with sense of worthiness, love & belonging, believe they are worthy
    2. Those who struggle with worthiness
      1. fear that we are not worthy of connection
  5. Wholehearted living
    1. from deep sense of worthiness
    2. Courage (from Latin cour=heart), tell who you are with whole heart, accept imperfect
    3. Compassion, first kind to themselves, then kind to others
    4. Connection => let go of who you should be
    5. Embraced Vulnerability
      1. Believed what made them vulnerable, made them beautiful
      2. Willingness to do something without guarantees
  6. Vulnerability
    1. birthplace of joy, creativity, and love
    2. we numb vulnerability to immunize against rejection, being turned down, getting layed off, etc.
    3. To avoid becoming vulnerable,
      1. we seek comfort
        1. in debt
        2. obesse
        3. addicted
        4. medicated
      2. We blame (a way to discharge pain & discomfort)
      3. We make uncertain into certain, because of fear, which leads to polarization
      4. We perfect
        1. Demand perfection from children, who are imperfect but wired for struggle. We take away their struggle.
      5. We pretend
    4. If we numb emotions like hard feelings, then we also numb other feelings like joy & happiness
  7. Way out
    1. Kinder and gentler to ourselves
    2. Kinder to others
    3. Practice gratitude and joy rather than catastrophizing
    4. Let ourselves be seen
      1. “I am enough”
    5. Love with our whole hearts.



She also has books on Amazon, such as:

Comments

  1. I was introduced to Brené through the Gifts of Imperfection, which inspired me to take her self-compassion course with Kristin Neff. It has transformed my life.

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